i haven't posted here in quite some time.
guess i should start sometime, eh?

hihihi to everyone who even reads this anymore. (myspace and facebook have taken over my brain!)

anyway.

yeah.

Random things:

School started again. I'm not sure how much I'm liking it so far, but it's school...I'll probably be at COS for this year and hopefully transferring to either SF State, Sac. State or Fres. State...I'm not sure yet, but it's definitely something that's been on my mind for a while.

I got to see an awesome show this summer, and I'm definitely happy about that. Eric Whitacre and his wife Hila Plitmann are graceful, humble and amazing people who are just fun to talk to. The show "Paradise Lost: Shadows and Wings" (that Eric wrote and Hila starred in) was inspiring, beautiful and must-see show that knocked my socks off. I loved it. The music is breathtaking, the acting was phenomenal and I'm just terribly sad that I couldn't see the show again!! damn!!!

My DS broke so I'm buying a new one...eeeeeh.

I'm going to have another tattoo...yay!

I love Harry Potter, and I absolutely love that my writing muse is back!! hopefully I can post some more stuff here, but I'm definitely on a roll on the new boards.

My niece is late, but it just means she inherited Auntie Krys' fashionably late entrance...I cannot wait til she arrives. I already love her to pieces!

I miss my art. I'm thinking of throwing something together soon, especially with some of the photos I took on my trip to Italy...woot!

:-D Other than that, life is good.

The scene changes.

Life is unfolding before my eyes. Babies are being born everywhere, friends are getting hitched, family members are coming around more often. Many things are moving so rapidly around me and yet, here I am. My 4th year at the acclaimed "2-year-Community-College" trying to scrape by, going to school during the day and working at night. I feel like I hardly have time for myself even though I really have a lot of time right now, at 1 am...to think about what I'm going to do for the next year.

God, Hopefully I'll pass this semester and not have to worry about repeating classes so I can just graduate and work for the rest of my life. Mom wants me to go to a four year uni, maybe open my eyes and try to be a nurse like she really would want me to...cause she did it. I can, right? I dunno. I don't know if Cirque wants me, and I personally don't know if I want to leave the man I love just because I want to go off somewhere and perform. Vegas would be the upside, but what if they ship me off to Montreal? I don't speak French. Sheesh. What if they send me on tour? That's a 7 year block, signed away to perform. *sigh* I don't even know if I can do the musical this year.

There's no way I'm going to have time for anything.

With things in constant flux, there's not much I can do but put my own life on hold. I don't have a choice. Everything else can change.
Then I'll figure out where I can go from there.

'Bout time for an update of this ol' thing. So I'm compiling the entries from my DA journal here!! :-D

Oct 17th:
SMACKDOWN, 2006.
^_^ the WWE came to my town today and my friends and I had a bllllaaassst watching it. I did, after all, get to see my honey aka Batista perform the Main Event, and man is that guy a tower in person. I got to touch his hand, cheer him on and get a glance (*hopeful eyes*) or two outta him...aww, for a Filipino man, he is dead sexy. haha! I was definitely star struck, driven to giggles every time I lay my eyes on him..

..not to mention the fact that I had a dream about him the next evening. mwahaha.

But yeah. We Filipinos must stick together, eh? He, and the rest of the SmackDown crew/roster were so amazingly entertaining this year -- it was so much fun, and worth being smashed up against the barricade by creepy guys and random children. lol. I can't wait til they come back so I can get FRONT row/Ring&Ramp side woot woot!!! hehe..Seeing Bobby Lashley, William Regal, Booker T, Chris Benoit and the lot -- up close and personal was mindblowing. I'm not -too- far off of their heights so it was like, wow...you really are standing in front of me!! not to mention, I came into contact with about 7 of them!!!

It made me all nostalgic to high school when I actually dreamed of making Wrestling a career of some sort. BLAAH, in the shape I'm in currently, it'd take YEARS to train, buuuut, well worth it, I'm sure. It's such a rush, and not too far off of my current line of work: acting. After all, it is World Wrestling "Entertainment" for a reason. haha! *ponders*

I have some really cool pictures on my-space, if you guys wanna check it out!!! It was such a blast.

---

Oct 26th:
Well, I spent almost all day on Myspace today...Obsessed? I think so. Nah, I'm actually really sick today and I was really bored. I posted a bulleting or two about new stuff and a survey I took from a friend and then doodled on PSP for a while. I actually didn't win the contest I was participating in at page, but I'm not that disappointed; Those who did win actually deserved it, they were lovely pieces! Bravo!!!

I've been trying to get a little bit better at what I do. Thanks to my dear friend (Kat) I was able to contemplate aggression over some flame I got the other day. She was my hero. It kinda came out of left field and I didn't know what to do or say so I ran and vented to a couple of friends... *hug* goes out to (Locks) for sticking by me through the flame too!!

Overall, this week's been pretty good. I went to CSUF for a festival yesterday and even though I sang through the sickness, I think we rocked!! Grrreat times. Well, I'm gonna get some new fiction and art up soon, so as always:

Stay Tuned!
Kay

((The following rant is Not for the faint of heart.))
Currently Listening:
Currently Watching: Paranoia Agent

The following takes place between now, and forever.

in my restless dreams...
my reluctant tears...
...and my relentless screams...

I see this town.
I see the small town trying to be bigger than what it will ever be.
You once told me you'd take me out of here.
to paradise.
We'd live the life of fame, live our carefree dreams of endless pots of money and a perfect family.

But that's all gone now.

You said to me once that you loved me.
but you didn't.
You loved -it-. You love the fact that you could hide every last drop from me and when it's all settled, when the dust is no longer dancing you dig it back up, only this time...when the tale is re-told, it is more in-depth...a little more...truthful....a little more explicit.

Fine.
You can have all that shit.
You can say that you're all clean and that you're all starving for sex, drugs, money, girls, etcetera, et-fucking-cetera.

Demons.
I got them. You said it yourself, I'm full of them. YOU'RE Full of it.
You gave them to me.
You made me what I am today.
I tried to impress you.
I tried to love you.
I tried to hate you.
I don't know what the hell is going on right now. You confuse the fuck out of me.
Stop calling, stop IMing, stop messaging me. You pissed me off for the last time.
NO. we can't be friends. I left you. FOR A REASON.

I'm better off knowing that I left you.
I left you behind.
I left what remains in my past alone.
Because I can let go.

GROW UP....

Release your hold on me.
allow me to vanquish these shadows that hang over me.
LET ME GO.

Work.

write.

Work.

sleep.

No play. I need a break already! :(

Current Music: Within Temptation
Inspiring. Unfortunately, my drummer quit on me leaving me in another void of wonder: will I ever catch a break? My bassist, his friend and guitarist are actually wanting to do it still, but what happened to my Drummer? He was my partner in crime through this music stuff? I understand, Real Life can just be a bitch sometimes...but it always happens when I want to do this band shit for real.

Current Game: Hitman: Blood Money
I've been on a very nice little kick to be a mercenary. Yes, I can make that publicly known and all I can do is talk about it...but when it really happens? I'll never tell. This game is probably the best one in its series, regardless of what ratings and reviews it got. I love it.

Current Movie: Nacho Libre
Yes. You may have heard of me? NACHOoOooOoooOoooOOOOOooo....!! One of the funniest movies -EVER-. I recommend this movie to anyone who dares to pay the ridiculous fee to watch a movie in the theatre. I'd love to go see it again!!!

Current Sport: Soccer/Futbol!
I haven't even gotten into FIFA/World Cup in my entire life and people still don't give me credit for watching sports and enjoying it. Maybe it's because I don't look athletic? Maybe it's because everyone else has to one up me and know everything about the sport because they played it for x-amount of years and what not...but I'm over that. I watch the teams, I like the action and I roll with that.

Current Infatuation: Christian Cage.
Seeing him the other night on TNA as their champion made me smile. OK maybe I didn't smile on the outside, simply because I was thinking about something else...but on the inside, I was totally happy for him. It was good to see him get a title after all these years; I knew he wouldn't have gotten that kinda push if he worked for the WWE. Edge/Adam is barely making his way up the rankings right now! And he's with Lita/Amy...*sigh* Hopefully the WWE will pull its head out of its ass and realize the writing is getting better and they need to split those two to make for better ratings. At any rate, seeing Christian/Jay the other night made me miss him...it made me miss my lame WWF Fanfictions I used to write back in High School; it made me miss the old school factions like DX and the Corporation...the FACgime, as E&C loved to call it. It made me miss those dreams I had about marrying into the company and touring.

At any rate, my week has been semi-eventful. We'll see what the rest of the week and its weekend shall bring...

As much as I'd love to rant, here's my weekly public service announcement.

Mmm...Mercenary.

That is all.

...break through the surface... ~ Within Temptation

So I don't weigh 90 pounds.
So my chest measurements aren't "to everyones' liking".
Fuck that. I'm rather irritated with the fact that I work in a male-dominant industry and get treated like dirt just because of it. All I can do every damn day of my life is suck it up and deal with it, right? Hm. No. Joe and I plan to tear into everyone who plans on doing that to me in the future. Sweet. I look forward to it. I dunno. It's such a bittersweet job and as long as my 'rents are helping me out with my life, I'm sticking with it because I love my co-workers and I love handling video-games all day. I always wanted to develop my own game; or at least be a writer for one, hire some programmers, Santiago and I could do some music -- Oooh maybe Santi and I should write our own game...it'd be scary as hell, seeing that we play the games like Condemned, Fatal Frame, Resident Evil, and not to mention: Silent Hill, hehe...we'd learn from the best.

*sigh* not to be a whino, but I believe the new movie SEE NO EVIL totally stole my idea. ugh...those who know that I've been writing the story titled: "The Angel's Eyes" for about 5 years now (ugh i'm getting old)...can attest to my storyboard and know that my ambitions for the killer were the same for this KANE character from that movie...Damn. I just hate that...:( looks like I'm just going to scrap the idea and start anew!

Good news is, my band is going to be alive and kickin' sometime next week, around Wed. I believe!!! *Dances* this has been something I've been looking forward to for 3 years now. Man. I can't wait! I have a lot of song writing to do, Brandon's given me a lot of material to work with but I got nothing. I hate having a clouded mind all the time...:(

I'm starting to get back into the Wrestling craze again, even though I know WWE took a huge plunge when they bought out all of the competing companies and merged and had a roster too big to even schedule every week (and still do, even though they split the 2 rosters)...This new girl, Beth Phoenix looks like she knows what she's doing and I totally admire her. They're putting women back on the map and I dig that!!! Men aren't the only ones who enjoy the women's matches. I watch, only because it brings back memories; it reminds of when I used to watch religiously, chat on the phone to T and have heated discussions since I was the face and she was the heel -- about who was better...That, and well, I wanted to be one. I had so many thoughts about pumping my body up after high school, or even during high school to go to school to be one...but then I thought about a lot of the cons: I wouldn't really have a life. My parents weren't very hyped about the idea, and my dad was actually laughing cause he would be intimidated by "a daughter that would be able to carry him everywhere". Granted, I've been working out religiously and I'm still trying to pump up my body...but I dunno if that wrestling thing would work out, haha... Meh. Wrestling's another Male-base of entertainment, which totally kicks their ass when I can talk and say: Yeah? Rock's finisher was the Rock Bottom...and the People's Elbow. I know what a Swanton Bomb, DDT and Hurracanrana are...couldn't do them all, but I pretty much know what I'm watching!!!!! Oh, the joys of growing up with males. xD

Meh. I'm just ranting. There's been a lot on my mind lately and a lot that I've had to deal with. I know I don't like to talk to people about the big-picture, but...I guess I gotta get this out somehow.

I was going to write more but I'm too distracted x.X

A - AVAILABLE?: Schedule wise? WIDE OPEN. Relationship wise, no.

B - BEST FRIEND: WOO I have quite a few, Mel, T and G to name my main home girls.

C - CRUSH: my bf Peter

D - DADS NAME: Phil

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Tiana, Joe, Mel...well, ok anyone willing to listen to my bs.

F - FAVORITE BAND: Lacuna Coil, Within Temptation

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears

H - Hand: Both. ;)

I - INSTRUMENT: Piano

K - KIDS: 0 for the moment

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: from here to SD

M - MILK FLAVOURS: Strawberry, sometimes

N - NUMBER OF PETS: 0

O - ONE WISH: it won't come true if i tell you!

P - PHOBIA: EE...large bodies of water

Q - FAVORITE QUOTE: "Put the Lotion in the Basket..." <<< Dane Cook

R - REASON TO SMILE: My love, my family, my friends, my success

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Tifa's Theme, FF VII

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 11:30 something

U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I'm a hula dancer

V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: Eggplant. does that count? Ugh then that white broccoli crap lol

W - WORST HABITS: Cursing, Persistence, Repression

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Teeth. That's it *knock on wood*

Y - YUMMY FOOD: Healthy Stuff? Pasta!!

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Libra